“I don’t need to do anything!” – Or why do we resist change?

Sounds familiar? Rest reassured, you’re not alone.
This knee-jerk defiance isn’t just stubbornness, it’s something psychologists call reactance: our instinctive pushback when we feel our freedom is under threat.

Reactance? Let me explain!

Reactance is our brain’s way of defending its freedom. When we feel our autonomy is threatened - when someone dictates our actions or decisions - our natural response is to push back. It’s the reason why telling a teenager, “you can’t hang out with those friends,” practically guarantees they’ll sneak out to see them.

Reactance isn’t just about being difficult, it’s about self-preservation. It’s our brain’s way of asserting independence and protecting our sense of control. But here’s the thing: People don’t actually resist change itself. They resist feeling forced to change. So instead of pushing harder, what if we made change feel like their choice?

What works?

Here are five strategies that leverage autonomy, subtle persuasion, and even a bit of reverse psychology:

1. Give More Autonomy

People are more likely to embrace change when they feel they have control over how it happens. Take The Ritz-Carlton, for example. They give employees a $2000 “Wow” budget to solve customer issues in any way they see fit. There’s no script, no micromanagement, just trust. The result? Employees feel empowered, and customers get unforgettable experiences. Who wouldn’t love that kind of freedom at work?

2. Rethink the Rules

Ever filed an expense report? If you’re already groaning, you’re not alone. Most companies have pages of rules and receipts required for reimbursement. Netflix threw that rulebook out the window with just one guideline: “Act in the company’s best interest.” No receipts, no paperwork, just trust. It’s a bold move, but by giving employees the autonomy to make spending decisions, they turned a bureaucratic headache into a demonstration of mutual trust and responsibility.

3. Nudge, Don’t Shove
Here’s a fun fact: countries with an “opt-out” system for organ donation have rates above 90%, while “opt-in” countries barely reach 20%. Same choice, different default setting. This is called a nudge: a subtle change in how choices are presented that influences decisions without restricting freedom. When people feel like they’re making their own choice, reactance takes a back seat.

4. Flip the ‘Yes, But...’ Mindset

Ever been in a meeting where every idea is met with “Yes, but…”? It’s like pouring cold water on creativity. That’s why I love using the ‘Yes, but’ wall. It’s simple: participants write down objections on sticky notes, then we shift focus to finding solutions. It’s like magic, but with Post-its. This approach respects resistance while redirecting energy toward problem-solving.

5. Motivate Through Aversion

Ever made a bet with yourself? Turns out, we’re more motivated to avoid loss than to pursue gain. Stickk.com takes this to another level: you set a goal, and if you fail, your money goes to a cause you hate. Imagine your hard-earned cash supporting a political party you despise. Suddenly, that morning run doesn’t seem so bad, does it?

So, the next time you’re trying to inspire change, whether it’s in the workplace or at home, remember: nobody likes being told what to do. But everyone likes feeling like they had a choice.